(deep breath. deep breath. here goes)
I finally realize it's a problem. It's always been there, for as far back as I can remember, it's been there. I'm sorry if this seems very unlike me and straight forward but I just need to get it out.
See, I've learned not to blame anyone but myself. What was so easily typed out just now, was actually a difficult and often painful realization. And the sad truth is that it's getting worse. I'm getting worse. And now I've got kids who watch me. Who watch my every move.
How do I look them in the eyes and tell them their mother is an addict? How do I admit that I can't seem to get enough? Of the candy corns and the pumpkin muffins. The acorns and the gourds. Don't even get me started on the mums, man.
Duuuuuuude, can you pass the Autumn? Mama, needs another hit.
I AM A FULL FLEDGED FALL JUNKIE!
Eugene and I, in what can only be described as an all-out bender, got the ultimate autumnal high by taking the kids to Door County, Wisconsin for the annual Sister Bay Fall Fest.
It don't get any Fall-er than this!
We discovered Door County three years ago and vowed to come back again.
We rented a two bedroom, one story townhouse that had the perfect amount of hiding spaces to keep the kids intrested. Can I jump on the bed Mom? Sure, why the hell not, it's not my house. God I love vacation me--so cool, so laid back. Can we make a fort Mom? Of course you can! Here's 43 blankets and an hour of time, go!
The Fall Fest was just as we remembered, crisp fall air, warm apple cider, brats on the grill and corn on the cob.....
Zombie marching bands
and parade loot.
After the parade was over we got ourselves some local pumpkin beer (which was delicious) and took the kids to the park, which was smack dab in the middle of the fest.
The sun was shining, Indy was sleeping quietly and cozy in the stroller, Mia was searching for ladybugs, Bella was lost in her imaginary world, Chance was lovin' the slide and Eugene and I just sat back, relaxed and got on the most amazing buzz. The kind of buzz that keeps you laughing. The kind of buzz that feels so wrong when it's 11AM but yet so, so right. It was hilarious. And fun. And it felt like college again. I, of course, got so paranoid that all the other parents were totally judging us, but we didn't care. Our kids were having the time of their life! It's not often that I take the kids to the park for an unspecified amount of time. They kept looking over at me, with a sad and desperate look like now mom, are we leaving now? only to find me smiling and laughing, a reassurance that playtime can commence. They played in that park FOR OVER 2 HOURS, which for us is like a playground eternity. And Eugene and I just sat back and watched it all.
Speaking of sitting, everywhere in Sister Bay benches are dedicated in someone's honor--a detail that I found so endearing. For a brief moment I wondered who John Anderson was, since he "supported" us and all our goofyness that afternoon. Was he a father or even a grandfather? Did his family chose the bench facing the park for a reason? It was also facing Lake Michigan, which isn't a shabby view either. These benches say more about this town than any tourism brochure could ever do-- sit, relax and remember.
Mark my words family, I want a bench someday.
I love that our weekend getaways have become almost a necessity for us. Getting away from our comfort, isolating ourselves, tuning out and turning off is just what our family needs.
Jeez, I've spent 5 minutes typing about family and I'm already jones-in' to write more about Fall. First stage is admittance, Gina. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. Truthfully, there just isn't enough time to APPRECIATE the fall season. If I were in charge I'd take an entire week (or 2) and just escape with my family like we did this past weekend and spend our days baking, and hiking and taking in every blessed color around us. It's a sin not to enjoy it. Until the leaves have fallen and the sky turns gray, I'm going to ride this high for as long as I can.
And sure, in two months when my buzz is killed and the snow brings on irritability, cold sweats and restlessness, I'll be comforted in knowing that my detox will eventually get better. I may have to wait 10 months, but the score will be worth it.
Note to my children-- if you're reading this years from now I hope to god you know what a metaphor is. If not, here's our vacation video to distract you: