Friday, July 30, 2010

The idiot mom strikes again!

DISCLAIMER: I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar errors or possibly a weak plot line due to the UNBELIEVABLE lack of sleep I've had in the past 14 days. I can barely remember my new child's name let alone trigger creativity. Mkay? Good. Glad we're on the same page.

Let's start on a high note, shall we? Chance is adorable, he's perfect smoochin' material. His skin is wrinkly and soft and warm and all I want to do is hold him to my chest and face-ALL DAY LONG.

I love this time. And I promise to cherish it as much as I can because it goes by so fast.

He's also pretty laid back (so far). The nursing has been going well, despite the fact that homeboy doesn't latch on the way he should (something about his tongue) so I have to use a shield while I nurse which is kind of a pain....but well worth it. I forgot how exhausting nursing is in the beginning. And I could swear that boys nurse more than girls....but that could just be me being a drama queen. But I'm not kidding when I say, every hour and a half this boy starts rootin' for it. Which has left me WIPED OUT! I average three hours of sleep a night and let's face it, I don't do well on 3 hours of sleep. I keep telling myself "this too shall pass." And I know that it will....but wow, I'm in a cloud!

Also, I recently decided to switch pediatricians. I opted for this group of 3 doctors that got rave reviews from everyone I interviewed and when my OBGYN told me that he sends his kids there-- I was really sold. In the hospital Chance was seen daily by one of the three doctors, whom Eugene and I instantly fell in love with. So, when he had his well child visit four days after leaving the hospital, I was excited to meet one of the other two doctors. Sheesh, I was just excited to get the heck out of the house. It was my first outing with the baby. In fact, I actually showered and put on makeup for the event.

The office was nice and the staff at the front were FABULOUS--which is usually my first critique of a doctor. We were the first appt of the day so I barely had enough time to fill out the paperwork before we were called back. SCORE! The doc and assistant walked in and he immediately introduced himself. He was a younger doctor, tall and handsome, dare I say. He had a great demeanor about him, very knowledgeable and very friendly. He checked out Chance- checked his ears, his eyes, his bones, his weight, ya know all the necessary checks on a first well child visit. And get this-Chance gained 5 oz. in 4 days!! Yay, mi leche es bueno!

He asked me about the delivery. I answered him. He asked me about the nursing. I responded. He asked me about the bowl movements and I replied:

"Well, actually now that you asked Doc, in truth, I'm surprised that I'm not more regular yet. Although, I've had several bowl movements this week--but I still don't feel that I...."



"Oh my God, you were referring to CHANCE'S bowl movements? OH. MY. GOD."

I stared at Eugene for support but I knew he was moments away from cracking. I looked to the female assistant as if to establish some sort of womanly bond--but no, she too was about to lose it. I finally, fixed my eyes on the doctor, who had turned all kinds of red at this point......and before I could say anything....I too lost it.

WAAAAA-HAAAAA!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. I just admitted to MY CHILD'S NEW PEDIATRICIAN THE DETAILS OF MY #2'S!!!!

In fact, all four of us broke out in laughter. I think I was so used to all the nurses in the hospital asking me about it, that I didn't even think twice. TOTAL IDIOT!! The doctor quickly resumed his examination of Chance, as if to make it easier for me. But no, three minutes later, all I had to do was think of the letters BM and I started laughing all over again. In fact, it was one of those laughs that you try to keep in but you end up making a snorting nose while your entire body starts shaking. Yeah, that one!

What am I, a twelve year old boy?

Eugene was all kinds of embarassed for me because no matter what I did I couldn't hold the laughter back. The doc would try to ask me a question and I would go to answer and all that would come out is giggles.

Why am I such a sucker for poop humor?

Anyhoo, at least there are two other doctors in the practice. I need a good couple months before seeing this doc again!

And with that I bid farewell, my motherly duties are beckoning.


  1. Okay, where do I start here? First, your little man Chance is adorable. Such a beautiful boy! Second, love those pictures. What treasures! Yes, the nursing is a lot at the beginning - I remember that well. My boy did eat more, every 1 1/2 for a while, but he was a better sleeper than my girl, so a decent trade off. And finally, two words for ya - stool softener...and don't let up for months. In fact, when you think you are in the clear and back to the regular routine - keep on it for another two months. That's my rule. You telling it to the baby's doctor is quite possibly the funniest thing ever. Ever. So something I would have done. The crickets chirping is still making me laugh. You funny Gina! Now go get some sleep!

  2. You made me snort out loud! Too funny and I feel for you.

  3. I can only hopelessly "me too" to this one. HI-larious.

  4. gina, you are the best. i love these posts and the fact you are soooo open about your bm's! wish i was there, that would have been something. I love you and you have such a beautiful family. you are very blessed

  5. Excuse my spelling and grammer, not sure how to laugh, cry and type all at the same time. You are the best! God Bless you and your ya cuz!

  6. Gina that is the most brilliant unexpected moment. Thank you so much for passing it forward:) Much love to you and the beautiful family!!



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