It was the first time in five years that I woke up to my actual alarm clock and not to the sound of "Mom-eeeeeeeeeeeee" screeching from a crib down the hall. And surprisingly, I didn't even hit the snooze once. In fact, I sprang outta bed with a sense of unbridled determination. It was primping time. Time to begin the arduous process of getting ready and by "getting ready" I mean actually putting on makeup and brushing my hair. At 6 AM. On a Saturday.
About mid-way through my extreme make-over process, somewhere between the cheek highlighting and eye lash curling my husband stumbled into the bathroom and shot me a look as if to say, who the hell are you and what happened to my wife? And then he laughed out loud when it occurred to him where I was going this morning.
You see, I was headed to the DMV.
Ya know, the place that takes your picture which remains a permanent fixture in your wallet for five long years. Ya know, the kind of picture that could be accessed by pretty much any state or government employee at any given time.
YA KNOW THE KIND OF PICTURE THAT COMES WITH AN AGE AND WEIGHT KIND OF CAPTION!!!!
You're damn straight I wanna look good in this picture. And I know I'm not the only "pretty" out there who attempted a little more effort when it comes to prepping for this particular picture. On the rare occasion that I want to 1) get into a hip club or 2) try to get out of a traffic violation when pulled over I don't want to look like a complete and total laminated ass face. Cuz, let me tell you....my last drivers license? TOTAL ASS FACE! I was about 7 months pregnant and somehow ended up looking cross-eyed. I wish I could post a picture of it, ya know for laugh factor, but thankfully the Illinois DMV had to seize it. Nothing felt greater than handing it over. I practically threw it at them.
Not sure why I needed to spend 30 minutes figuring out the perfect outfit since-IT'S FROM THE NECK-UP YOU IDIOT!!! But whatev, I walked in feeling and looking good. As for the picture? Well, aside from the displaced bangs, I thought it turned out alright.
Please tell me I'm not the only DMV DIVA out there. Why do we do this, place such high standards on pictures?