"Jack Nabbit, I'm not Octopus Mom!!!"
is a phrase I find myself howling at my daughters almost daily. They honestly want me to do seven things at once and proceed to give me a bewildered looking stare when I can't comply. And of course they always ask for these things when I'm either holding or nursing little Chance. It is beyond annoying. It's uber annoying.
But hang tight web friends, because guess who's big enough for my holy grail, errr I mean Baby Bjorn?
This little guy.....
Yes, that's right. My little squirt finally reached the 8 pound mark which means that I can "officially" carry him handsfree strapped to my rather large chest. Don't worry Chance, breathing is overrated.
At his one month check up he received a perfect bill of health! The doctor was pleasantly surprised to see that his fist pump rivals that of "The Situation."
She was also pretty amazed to see that he can bench press the weight of four fingers. Atta boy!
Me? Well, I'm just smitten over him. Could you blame me?
Though, I have to admit, I've been spending most of my energy these days making sure that the girls have as much fun as they can before we officially bring summer to a close. And I'm not sure about you, but what could be more fun than a trip to Costco?!!
Make no mistake about it, a successful Costco trip comes at a cost. Yeah, like the promise that they can try every single tester, split a hot dog and add some watered down lemonade to their "canteens."
And like any smart mom, I oblige.
And can I just point out that I want so badly to own one of the Costco TWO SEATER shopping carts!! Sure, it's the size of a small Hummer and can't turn for shit......but they keep my kids in one spot and about four feet off the ground, and for that, I love it! Dude, I'd bring it to church if I could.
And of course every Costco trip ends with the exit employee scanning our receipt and comparing it with our cart, while I simultaneously make the speech in my really annoying high pitched mom voice "the girls were so good today, mam."
Which really means
If you forget or simply decide not to draw your stupid little smiley face or bunny rabbit on the back of my receipt my girls will lose their effin' shit. So please, for the love of a stranger, draw something-ANYTHING- on the back of this receipt so that it will ensure two happy giddy little girls a pleasant ride home and an even better unloading experience for me.
And guess what? It works like a charm every time.
Parenting at it's finest!